The Five Most Common Signs of Codependency
Do you think that you or a loved one might suffer from codependency? Find out the five most common signs of codependency.
The term ‘codependency’ is often used casually to describe relationships where a person is needy, or dependent upon, another person. The term means way more than liking to be around a person a lot or everyday clinginess. Codependent relationships are far more extreme than this. A person who is codependent will plan their entire life around pleasing the other person, or the enabler.
In its simplest of terms, a codependent relationship is when one partner “needs” the other partner, who in turn, needs to be needed. This circular relationship is the basis of what experts refer to when they describe the cycle of codependency. The codependent’s self-esteem and self-worth will come only from sacrificing themselves for their partner, who is only too glad to receive their sacrifices.
Codendency – One Size Fits All
Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and with family members. Codependency you see a lot when couples are using drugs or alcohol together.
The Signs And Symptoms of Codependency
These relationships are one-sided, dysfunctional, and unhealthy. Codependency has been described as, “a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.
It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.” So how can you tell if you’re in a codependent relationship? First, look for these 5 signs and symptoms.
- You spend all, or most, of your time thinking about the relationship – Codependents are uncomfortable at the thought of being alone and very insecure. When they are this insecure, they obsess over the relationship, analyzing every word and action. In this dynamic, it’s also common to go above and beyond in an attempt to influence your partner’s happiness.
- You always say yes, even if you want to say no – As part of going the extra mile to please, codependent people put their partner before themselves and say yes to everything that’s asked of them. This is because they’re driven to please the other person, and their sense of worth comes from feeling wanted and needed.
- The relationship is a defining part of who you are – People in codependent relationships often lose their interests, passions, and desires. This is because their entire sense of identity is wrapped up in the other person. In healthy relationships, each individual maintains their sense of self while being a supportive partner.
- You have low self-esteem – Low self-esteem is a common symptom of codependency. Codependency may cause feelings of shame and worthlessness. A person may believe they do not deserve happiness. If a person does not value themselves, they may try to get others to value them. The sense of “being needed” can prompt internal gratification, even if the recipient of care does not show gratitude.”
- In relationships, you always give more than you receive – In a codependent relationship, one person is doing the majority of the caring and often loses themselves in the process. One person becomes the giver, and the other becomes the taker. This tendency can greatly impact the giver as they go above and beyond themselves physically and emotionally to please their partners.
How Can I Recover From Codependency?
Every codependent relationship is different, and you may or may not identify with these signs. At Evoke Waltham, we can help you learn more about yourself and how you depend on partners with our counseling and therapy.
We pride ourselves on staying true to our name. At Evoke Waltham, we are available 24/7 to help in any way that we can. Please feel free to take advantage of our comprehensive recovery-related services in person, virtually, or over the phone. We serve men and women of all ages in our state-of-the-art Waltham, Mass.